I think our fundamentally different approach is I am talking about how to speak to (and arguably, listen to) women, where I believe you are discussing that girls [we all] have value in our foundation–in Jesus– and that is more important than beauty and intelligence and ability. I agree that it is more important, but I don’t want to kill the soul for the sake of the body–or look over the body for the sake of the soul. Meaning, they are parts to the whole. You have value, now how am I going to speak to you?

When the main stream church speaks: there are many action verbs given to men and passive verbs given to women (in culture too, yes, but especially in the church). Freedom in Christ is one thing, walking and talking within that freedom is another. Once someone is “free” in Christ, then what do they “do?” What verbs are we giving women? Humanity is “broken,” for sure. However, there is healing each individual experiences throughout his or her walk–what the challenge is–how do we “speak” or “listen” to others on that journey? How do we call them to action in their lives?

I have heard many a sermon about calling young boys into men by 1) telling them they are made for a purpose in God 2) To seek after God and his character in order to reflect that character (through actions and deeds). These are very active verbs. Seek. Action. Deeds.

I would be nice if we had as much trust in God’s design of women to apply such verbs. I think from a secular way, that is what the Huffington Post article is stating–that how we speak to girls we highlight what is important in them as women.

My concern is that we look past the hurt and problem and point over it toward “God.” God is such an easy excuse–look at Jesus and how he loves us unconditionally–that should be enough. However, is it? If it was, then why are sitting listening to sermons? Why are we turning on the Christian Radio station? Why are we browsing blogs? Because we also need to be affirmed and lead.

Girls are told to “do” beauty– in a perverse ways–told to reflect God’s beauty. It sounds good, doesn’t it? That’s the problem with arguments that use “God” — it’s hard to argue with “God” — even if God is no where within that argument. That’s not what I am saying you’re doing, by the way.

I appreciate you bringing attention to this important issue. Truly we agree, we have value because we exist. We exist because God made us. God made us and loves us unconditionally. We can only know true love and purpose through God. I feel like I may be writing a book here. Sorry about that.

One last thing, if every time my spouse said to me how much he loved me, and I asked why, he said because Christ died for me –that would be good, but would leave me wanting. As I am sure it would leave him wanting, if I said the same to him. We each want to hear that we are loved unconditionally, but we also want to know what people love in us–and in this way, women have been lead that the lovable parts are those superficial parts.

I do agree, as I stated in the post, that much harm has come to women through many avenues, and those issues need to be addressed courageously. And, yes, those issues need to be addressed inside the church as well as outside. My fear is that we won’t go far enough in our answers. In that case, we will simply trade one set of harmful issues for another set of slightly less harmful issues–that doesn’t truly bring the kind of freedom from brokenness that we need. And the kind of freedom Jesus offers us.

Thanks again for your note. Blessings…

I find that your post is thoughtful but also missing some important information. For example, the Huffington Post article was in response to an issue so prevalent in our culture that it is literally killing women. Also, our churches (as you mention) are not without shared fault. For example, how many worship teams do you know that have ugly or overweight woman involved? Not many. Now saying that people are loved by Jesus is AWESOME! It is important that girls and boys, women and men know that this is the case. However, God also gave us parents and people in our lives to tell us what is it about us that is unique-what we have that is God-given. When woman are told to think about their gifts and callings and strengths, it may be hard to find value in ideas when beauty is all we’ve been praised for, whether we meet the goal or not. Be more beautiful. Or, be more God-like, which works well with beauty. Be more beautiful and humble. As a woman in the church, I have heard this and I know it is there for many others. Honestly, I’d like the men in my life to think of how my ideas (because I have many) and my contributions are valuable. I’d like to be heard. I’d like to be seen, too. But it is a complete package. Do we all need to know we are loved and valued in Jesus. Yes! But, I wouldn’t write a response essay to violence against women with the idea that you only need to tell them that they are loved by God. It’s part but not a whole. And I do believe with the way that we objectify women leads to violence against women. Perhaps God would like us to listen to women, too. To believe they have value enough to listen to them. Value enough to praise them for their ideas. Value enough to give them a high-five for a job well done. The truth is, no matter how you cut the pie, women are told that to be beautiful is to have power and purpose. The church says to be beautiful is to have power and purpose. You brought God into the conversation– now the call is to revolutionarily change how we value women. We know God does, but do we?